I'm kind of a together fangirl, right? I may ooh and ahh here at home, but I don't go through the garbage of hot celebrities. I don't make scenes at cons trying to get hot celebrity boys to notice me. I don't tear my hair out (most times). I'm just quiet and keep to myself, I know who I like, and never the fangirl in me and the celebrity boy shall meet. Never ever. Bad things could happen. I could forget how to use .. what are those things? Oh, yeah. WORDS. ::whimper:: OR, worse yet, I could NOT forget how to speak, and say something entirely stupid to the celebrity. (e.g. Your shoes match. You have freckles. I like you. You look so much older in person. Once I did a handstand in my backyard and squashed a slug with my hand.)

Twitter's changed that up for me a bit. Celebrity boys reply. I'm not kidding. They reply often. They actually read what you say sometimes. Who would ever think that would happen? I'm still invisible and not stalking the guys, but they've said, omg, hello.

Like Josh Wolf from Chelsea Lately. He has so many followers. There's no chance he'd read my conversation with krazylokoguy  on twitter and see that I'd said he's hot, right? Nuh uh. He saw. He just randomly jumped into the conversation and scared an EEP out of me. It was a big EEP. I responded, and I've responded to his tweets over the past several months, and he's actually a really nice guy. Not terrifying at all. STILL, THOUGH? I can't meet him. He wouldn't really know me. I'd have my word issues and whimpering and deer in the headlights eyes. Unattractive all around. I'll just stay here in the background and quietly think he's hot but never again say it out loud on twitter. He might be listening.

Last year, I discovered the show Top Chef. I know, it'd never been discovered before by anyone else, and just came into existence because I had interest. ;-) When I saw season 4, I was totally obsessed with Spike. You may be thinking that it's because I have Spike from Buffy love, but that's not it. I know I'm one dimensional in lots of ways, but this was all about him. I felt immediate love. Or maybe it was lust. I know it was a good down low feeling. That's beside the point.

I mentioned him on twitter, and venus_blue knew who he was, and directed to me to his twitter. I know! He'd only existed for me for a few hours, and then there she was, all with the knowing and the mutual Spike love. I didn't mind sharing him. In point of fact, I began talking about him all the time on twitter, like we were close friends. He responded to me! So awesome! It was all this game of pretend and fantasy. I have bought, to date, 28 copies of his book, and mailed them  to friends all over the world, and then told him so he'd like me. He said nice things to me on twitter. Autographed 7 books for my family and me. Told me I'm his bestest #1 fan, and wrote really fantastic personalized messages to my sisters and mom inside their books.

This was already more than it was meant to be. I'd fallen in lusty love with Chef Spike. I went further than I've ever gone with any celebrity by buying the books and telling him and making him sign them. I tried to buy his love and bacon, but we'd never meet. Period. The end, right?

Mom wanted to know who this cookbook guy was that she's supposed to keep out and displayed on her counter. She didn't "get" twitter, and hadn't heard of Top Chef. I told her he was from a reality show, and I'd talked to him online, and then he'd signed his books for my family.  That we were friends, in lieu of any other way to describe it, even tho he really doesn't know me, and I'm just a fan. I had an attitude of, "Aren't I awesome?" mixed with a dash of , "OMG, Mom, I love him and he's my friend." She was so impressed, and I left it at that. You know how you can talk things up with your mom and it'll never go anywhere. That kind of thing.

My sister Celeste moved to DC for the summer. I mentioned to her in jest that she should go into his restaurant, Good Stuff Eatery on Capitol Hill, and mention me to get special attention. I'm his #1 fan, right? Haha? Yeah, right. I know he wouldn't remember me from Adam when she went in, but the fun was that she'd see him somewhere in the background and eat his food and I'd get to have some vicarious fun from her details and maybe some real photos taken slyly with her camera phone while he wasn't aware. She never went in, and then, when it was time to move back here to Stanford after the summer ended, she called Mom and had her come help her move.

Mom and Celeste decided to go to his restaurant for Mom's birthday. The jig was going to be up! She'd see the vacant look in his eyes when she mentioned me. Maybe I could help jog his memory or get him to pretend he knows me? I sent him a DM that my mother and sister were coming in the next day. He of course told me that was great, and he looked forward to meeting them. I didn't think anything could go wrong. I am so often wrong, and so often willing to be wrong again.

* I knew he'd be too busy to talk, if he was even there.
* I knew he wouldn't remember who I am. I'm no one!
* I live in a wondrous fantasy world, where it's okay to love a celebrity chef and pretend he loves me and that we're good friends.

After they went to Good Stuff, all they told me was that it was fun, and they'd tell me details later. I sent him a message thanks for being so nice to my mom and sister, without knowing anything really. I figured it went like I imagined. Busy place. Him too busy. They eat. They go.

I didn't hear the real story until Thanksgiving, when Mom and Celeste were here. They just both kept putting it off.

**

Mom, Celeste, her husband, their 3 kids, waiting in line around the block for this restaurant.

They get inside. Celeste points to Spike at the grill, and says, "I think that's Spike, Mom. I think it is."

Mom yelled, with a overly friendly HUGE wave from afar, like you'd do to get attention from a fan on the other side of the baseball game, "Spike! Spike! Is that you?"

He nodded, busy busy, and kept working.

Mom yelled again, continuing the waving, and hopped up and down, "Spike! You are good friends with my daughter, Allison. On the twitter. SHE LOVES YOU."

Celeste, with a stroller, and a child on her hip, smiled and waved from the line. I don't think Owen cared one way or the other. Lunch is lunch.

Mom got him to reply that it was nice to meet her, but he was still at the grill, in this busy restaurant, probably with fans whirring overhead, and so many people talking.

She apparently gushed and gushed in her way (I get it from her, darn it all), and made him stand still for a picture. You know the mom picture skills, right? You're supposed to stand still, look natural, wait for her to focus, wait some more, wait some more, and then there's a flash. He put up a peace sign and stood still for her.

She walked away feeling like she'd met one of The Beatles, and had probably pulled out some of her hair and frothed at the mouth.

Celeste walked away giggling with her family.

Spike thought to himself, "Who the hell is Allison?"

They ate, and all pronounced it really good stuff.

Now I can never meet him. Unless I don't tell him he's met my mother, I've ever talked to him on "the twitter", or that I even know who he is. Maybe I can meet him with my heart fluttering madly, NOT SPEAK, and we'll end up living happily ever after on the wonder that is his love and bacon with me never speaking and ruining it by being scary like mom.

I bought a box of 30 Nestle bars at Costco. It has Butterfinger, Crunch and Baby Ruth bars. I thought they'd be great incentive for the boys. Behave and you get candy. It seemed really reasonable inside my head.

A week later, I've eaten lots of candy, and no one has earned the reward except for me. I'm also keeping them hidden away in my bedroom. I'm not sure I even told them about the whole candy reward idea.

Maybe the next box. It just wouldn't make sense to start now.

I started to make this entry last night, and accidentally shared it before it was done when I was going to bed. If you saw it before I quickly privated it, as I saved it to finish today, please don't think I was blocking you out from reading it. It just wasn't the case. No one on my friends list is blocked from this entry.

Okay, I haven't shared my version of the Las Vegas trip yet. Carolee was here, and I didn't want to be rude and be on the computer during her visit. Because I may want to look back on this sometime when I'm wistful for misty watercolor memories of the way we were, here I go with the sharing. I'm cutting because it's the longest entry I've ever made.

( it's the laughter we will remember whenever we remember the way we were )

Happy birthday, canadia_bit! :-D Hope you have another fabulous day, although I can't imagine one topping your yesterday.

( I Remember, NC-17, S/B, S6 )